Life is Waiting

With each passing day our lives are becoming more and more fast and materialistic, if it was not for the sleep we would have been working for 24 hours. But our government, which really cares about us, has given us an infrastructure that makes sure that we still manage to have ample time on our hands. This post is to celebrate the 'seven supreme waiting ways of life in Pakistan'

 

1. Traffic Jams - Karachites way of relaxing and entertainment:

The life in Karachi is all about traffic jams, all I can say is,

 

'aik or traffic jam ka samna tha mujhye, mein aik traffic jam say nikla toh mein nay dekha'

(I came across another traffic jam once I left one)

 

If you are in one, no need to get annoyed or frustrated. Its time to think about life, family, projects, donuts, movies, ...whatever gives you the pleasure or whatever needs your attention, now you have 1-2 free hours at hand so use them well. If you are not driving, just catch up on some sleep, soon you would be praying for longer traffic jams especially in the morning.

If you are on a bike then you are the man, you are macho and all the eyes are on you. Its time to show your potential, so all I can say is ‘bring it on’. You have the abilities and the unseen powers to wriggle out of tight holes, small allies and partings...whatever comes in your way, and if that won't work then you can always put your bike on the footpath thinking why the hell that crazy man is walking in front of my bike. For all the bike walas, we love to have you on our roads, especially when you make that cut from the wrong side, which makes us press our car brakes madly and recalling our creator - you really help us in connecting with the God more and more.

 

2. Load Shedding - Its time to talk to the family:

Everything of importance requires Electricity such as PC, T.V. or mobiles to name a few. We are watching T.V. and the macho hero is standing on a moving train and heroine is running after him - will they make it or not? She is running and running and she is near but the train is gathering speed - somebody screams 'she will miss it,' I wonder if she will? Oh God please let her catch the train otherwise I will die crying and then the hero tries to throw his hand and....ta da T.V. screen is black.

You are working on that most important report for a make or break conference call with a client who would give your company the biggest revenue, you have to send it in next 10 minutes, your hands are moving rapidly on the keyboard, you composes the E-mail and moves the mouse to the send button and then…light goes with a blip.

No need to panic or start cursing KESC on top of your voice - you are not the center of universe and they are not listening to you. Try to think wisely, these light less moments helps the materialistic you to have some time with the family - it doesn't matter if three continuos days are spent in having discussions and you are left with no topic but 'Doesn't Aishwarya Rai look fat in this photo?'

Thanks to KESC and my mother, now I know that exactly how the carpenter took 1200 for a 200 Rs. task or the milkman give milk with 70% water + 30% milk proportions or how the garbage collector has raised his fee from 50 PKR to a whole 60 PKR. I really feel like a know-it-all, or the complete household encyclopedia.

 

3. Dial up Connection - It sure can give snail mail a run for the money:

If for the last ten minutes, you are sitting in front of your PC, waiting and wondering if this E-mail with an attachment of 20 KB would make it to the sender then let me make a bet that you are one of those poor souls who still uses a Dial Up Internet connection. Government has more things to worry (like how to use the tax money) then thinking about how to give cheap broadband internet to people like you who can't afford expensive internet, by the way it doesn’t matter if you are the tax payer. But you should not get complexed, use this ample time on hand to make tea or coffee or hear to your mother's complaint about how you spend all your time on internet and doesn't care about the family – ever wondered why?

 

I would like to ask the people who still likes to stand in long queues in front of Banks, Have you ever heard about 'Paistan Post Office,' which collects bills from 9-5 and that’s six days a week or do you ever check the newspaper mentioning Bill drop services offered by different Banks?

When you try to tell these intelligent souls about these services, they come with the reply 'Haan per hum toh yahien bhartye hain (Yeah, but we always pay our bills here).' Probably for them, paying bills is a family ritual, which is being passed on from generation to generation. Their undying desire to stand in these queues gives the impression that they have nothing else to do in life and you know that a free mind is a devil's workshop - so hats off to Government for keeping the bank system alive and keeping their minds busy. And for every one's sake lets hope that the family tradition continues and the torch keeps moving from one hand to another.

 

 

Do they ever pick it? Is there really someone sitting there? If I sit and recall, the only successful calls I ever made were to KFC, McDonald or Pizza Hut. 'One Seven (17)' always has a ready made message saying 'All operators are busy. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Please try later.' I love that voice so much that I keep trying just to hear it - people in the government probably knows it, they care about me and many others and keeps repeating the message - who cares if I it was a-must-get-otherwise-you-are-fired number.

In this case corporate sector is far ahead of the government, I once called UFone and after trying for one hour to get a customer representative, I heard their recorded ad so many times that even after many months I was able to tell that exactly in which cities the service is available and what’s the cost - In order to impart this invaluable knowledge to others I tried to recite it in front of many people, but they simply asked me to shut up - people are so thankless these days.

 

 

Have your telephone ever went dead? If not, then you have missed something thoroughly adventurous. If you are in the lucky circle and it has gone dead then nobody apart from God or the PTCL can do anything about it. Going to the God means that you won't need the telephone at all so PTCL - the assistant in charge should be approached, rest is your choice.

Now every other day, you would have to go to PTCL’s main office, submitting complaints and guess what? They give you a gift every time - a new reference number, see you may get bore with the old one. Soon it becomes a part of your weekly routine and then PTCL building starts feeling like the second home (or maybe first) and its employees becomes your family. If you are thinking 'what a waste of time,' then you are a thankless soul. You should actually be grateful to PTCL that they gave you a chance to visit them and enter their premises and to get a first hand experience of life @ PTCL building which sucks ...oops....rocks.

 

 

The quest of finding your route bus and the one, which has a seat or at least, not too many passengers, is no less then finding a perfect bride. You can stand on the bus stop for ages and ages, your feet can go sour, your mind fizzy but oh stout of heart do not surrender, just like the right guy/gal of your life, sooner or later, it will come. If you are a girl, you would have a chance to use your stunning beauty and mesmerize the ‘londas with beedies’ (astray boys with cigarettes) standing near to you. The pleasure you are giving to them should be count as 'khidmat-e-khalq (Public service)' and if you are a narcissist then it would surely be good for a healthy ego. If you are not happy with any of it, then no need to put the blame on the government for not having a good mass transit mechanism , its all your fault, why are you so poor that you can't buy a personal vehicle.

You must probably have gone through at least one of the seven ways. Ever wondered that how many days or maybe years you have spent in just waiting or maybe more? If not then start observing it now.